I've never been one to get really hung up on celebrities. Yes, I will follow actors careers and watch other works they are in if I like them, but I don't obsess over reading every single mention of them on the interwebz. A big part of this is not wanting to have thoughts on their performances changed by who they are in their personal lives. Sure, I'll talk about how awesome So-and-So is, or I'll make sure to watch anything That Guy is in. But I don't really know anything about them personally and for the most part I like to keep it that way. There are, however, some rather notable exceptions to this rule.

Those exceptions are Wil Wheaton, Nathan Fillion, Felicia Day, Neil Gaiman, and Amanda Palmer. What do all of these people have in common other than being awesome? They are all on Twitter. They are @wilw, @nathanfillion, @feliciaday, @neilhimself, and @amandapalmer respectively. Now, the incredible thing about my interest in all of these people is that it wasn't particularly high before I joined Twitter. Here's a little bit about how Twitter showed me who was worth paying attention to.

Wil Wheaton: I knew Wil Wheaton became a blogger at some point after leaving Star Trek, but I didn't know he was a geek god and author of some amazing books. Even when I found out how awesome he was I didn't really keep up with what he was doing on a weekly or even a monthly basis. His hilarious and informative tweets drew me in and now I know every time he blogs and read all the time. I even went to a convention mainly to see him. I even got an autograph and a picture with him. That's something I've never done with any other celeb.

Nathan Fillion and Felicia Day: Every hardcore geek knows Nathan Fillion from Firefly and Dr. Horrible. I knew nothing about Felicia Day until Dr. Horrible. Now I follow them both on Twitter because they connect with fans constantly at conventions and in the public and talk about it in their tweets. They are both great and geeky people who I feel like I could be friends with. Without Twitter I would have had no idea. Now I'm constantly up to date on their current projects and will do whatever I can to support them.

Neil Gaiman: I'd heard quite a bit about Neil Gaiman, but I'd never gotten around to reading any of his work. Even after loving Stardust in the movie theater. Now I know that he is hilarious and cares deeply about his fans and his interactions with them. He is constantly Twittering back and forth with his followers and signing books for hours on end.

Amanda Palmer: I was introduced to Amanda Palmer by her boyfriend Neil Gaiman. I generally ignored his tweets about her up until a few weeks ago. I'd never listened to the Dresden Dolls or her solo work so all the mentions of her kinda blurred together. It wasn't until I read her blog post about not being afraid to take money for her art that I really started paying attention. I followed her on Twitter right after that and I've been obsessed since then. Her music took a little while to grow on me, but I was willing to give her much more of a chance because of her interactions with fans. Her fans feel like Amanda is their friend. She interacts with them on an unprecedented level and the real time aspect of Twitter makes it all possible. I'm proof that this strategy works because I knew nothing about her music until after I read her Twitter and her blog.

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So, as you can see, Twitter offers artists a great way to interact with fans that builds incredible dedication. Even someone like myself who doesn't usually obsess over celebs was inspired to write a whole blog post about these people. I will probably even write a whole separate post about the awesomeness that is Amanda Palmer.

Are there other celebrities on Twitter whose work I love? Yep. Am I going to mention them here? Nope. They don't really give you a great Twitter experience. Yes, this is all my own opinion, but I think that other celebs could learn a lot from this group. I hope that if my novels generate a buzz that I can be half as awesome to my fans as these folks.

Let me preface this post by saying that I do not hate old people. I live at a retirement community where my wife and I are the night managers and take care of anything that is necessary from 5pm to 9am. We love our old people, even when they are totally ridiculous or difficult. I call them my old people as a term of endearment. When we lose one it is heartbreaking. Now, understanding how much we care for seniors I will now tell you how much it sucks being stuck in a theater with them. Seriously.

Today my wife and I went to The Hangover at a second run theater. We go there almost every week on Tuesday because there is $1 popcorn and that's awesome. What isn't awesome is the groups of octogenarians that decided that The Hangover sounded like a delightful film for them to hang out and chat in. The Hangover? Seriously!? Did they not see a trailer or read a synopsis in the newspaper? I'm pretty sure they still put those in there don't they? Anyway, let me break down this experience for you.

We arrived at the theater about 30 minutes early because we're neurotic like that and like to get the best seats. Just as the trailers start a group of four seniors make their way into the theater and sit in the back row, a couple of rows behind us, but off to the side. Thankfully most old people seem to sit near the ends of the rows. Probably so they have less to stumble over during the inevitable bathroom breaks midway through the film. At least those were my thoughts at the time. Apparently these old folks had bladders of steel, bionic mouths and suffered from myopia. Their seats in the back row weren't good enough. They decided to sit right behind us instead.

A couple of months ago we would have ignored this as it was still during the trailers. Now we no longer give them the benefit of the doubt. We move almost immediately a couple of rows closer to the screen and to the opposite side of center from the old folks. As the movie progresses our change in location was quickly proved to be a smashing idea. The grumpy bastards never shut up. Thankfully we were far enough away that it didn't bother me too much. Crisis averted. Or was it???

One would think that 20 minutes into the film and having moved away from the obnoxious old chatterboxes that things would be smooth sailing from there. One would be wrong. Twenty minutes into the film another old couple stumbles in loudly and sits at the end of our row. I let out a sigh of relieve as they should be far enough away that they shouldn't be too much of a problem. Everything was great for about 10 minutes. They didn't seem inclined to be that chatty type and I sipped my soda and laughed my ass off at the movie. Then the old man started to snore...loudly.

I've never wanted to bludgeon someone to death with a 54 ounce soda cup before, but I started to seriously consider it at that point. Anyone who's seen Firefly knows there is a special Hell reserved for people who talk in the theater. I'm pretty sure that snoring is on par with talking in the eyes of Shepherd Book's God. As I'm hefting my soda cup the old lady wakes him up and I feel the urge to kill slowly drain away. He dozes off a couple more times throughout the film, but his wife is on top of it for the most part. The movie draws to a close and I manage to make it through without a criminal record.

Now, I could understand having an experience similar to this one where the annoying patrons are teenagers. That's something I expect at a crude comedy. I may not like it, but it's expected at this type of movie. Much like screaming children are expected at an animated film.

The sad thing is that now my wife and I have come to expect this complete lack of etiquette from seniors in movie theaters. I don't even bother to give them the benefit of the doubt any more. Whenever I see a gray/blue head of hair pop into the theater I cringe and start scouting for alternate seats to move to. It happens at every movie we go to at this theater because it's cheap and the old people love them a cheap movie ticket, but even at other theaters it's routinely the seniors that ruin the experience.

Am I overreacting? Are we alone here? Please, if you have had a similar experience tell me about it in the comments. I need to know I'm not the only one that's thought about strangling a senior citizen with a knotted together string of Twizzlers.

I've not been blogging on here much because it feels like everything here needs to be a masterpiece about my experiences as a writer. Well, I haven't been doing much writing lately so I haven't been doing much blogging. I think it's high time that I started blogging anyway.

Today I would like to talk about holidays. I haven't been much of a holiday person since the magic wore off of Christmas and Thanksgiving. That happened about the time I realized that nobody understood me well enough to get me something I really wanted for Christmas and that Thanksgiving was just a reason for my family to get together and fight. I was probably about 10 or so at the time.

It was shortly after those enlightening times that I figured out that Christianity was bullshit* and pretty much all remaining feelings I had for the holidays drained away. Yes, there were still a time of some excitement because I was still optimistic that someone would figure out a way to not make them suck, but they never did. I always felt like an outsider that nobody really cared about or understood.

When I grew up and got out on my own I still came back for holidays because it was expected, but I feel more like an outsider than ever. Everybody knew I was smart, but I was still working at McDonald's and I had dropped out of college. They had no idea what to say to me and I didn't want to talk to them about the backwoods hick things they wanted to talk about.

Some time later I met my lovely wife on the interwebs and I moved away to the lovely city of Seattle. I found a good deal of acceptance there and my wife loved the holidays. She'd never let her optimism die, though she too knew the religious aspects to be bullshit*. So, for the last few years we've celebrated with gusto and it's been great fun, but I've never been able to shed those old feelings. I still feel like an outsider around those times and I hate all the marketing. Why should I be seeing Christmas decorations in the middle of September?!

Anyway, what I'm really trying to say is that I don't want those stupid holidays any more. I don't want the feelings of guilt. I don't want the loneliness and depression that they bring me. So, I've decided to celebrate my own set of holidays which are yet to be determined. I will also be making a real effort to celebrate those “made up” holidays that I already think are awesome. I think my knew high holiday will be Towel Day. I celebrate others such as Star Wars Day and Pi Day as well, but Towel Day has a special place in my heart and I think it deserves the highest rank among the holidays. For those of you who don't know what Towel Day is or who Douglas Adams is, I suggest you hit up Wikipedia immediately. It could change your life.

I sadly didn't know the work of Douglas Adams until he had already passed. I believe it was a discussion of his passing that got me introduced to Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy. Now to this day I am saddened that the world is without a man that brought so much into my life with a few thousand words on paper. I've never truly celebrated Towel Day with any real fervor, but that will change. I don't believe in Jesus, but I do believe in Douglas Adams. He helped shape my life in ways I can barely articulate. So, I will mark May 25^th on my calendar and celebrate intelligence and laughter with a holiday that encourages you to carry a towel wherever you go. I don't care if that makes me an outsider from the world at large; my wife understands it and that's all I need.

If I haven't offended you too greatly, please stay tuned for more posts about the holidays I will be celebrating in my life and how I intend to do so. I think it will be a fun ride and I encourage all of you to join me. I will probably even make up some brand new holidays that some of you might enjoy.

_{*I thought about editing myself there and making it sound politically correct, but that would not be how I feel and this is my fucking blog so I will not edit myself like that. I need to be ME here. If that offends you I am truly sorry, but please feel free to not read my stuff.}

So, I was in the shower today as I am wont to do from time to time and I began to think about how much better I think when I'm in the shower. Yes, even thinking about thinking is enhanced by the mystical powers of my shower. I began to wonder if I was alone in this and decided to take a look on the web when I got out. (Note to computer industry: make a water proof computer. It's a gold mine! Well, at least I would buy one...)

Anyway, my internet search reminded me that I'm in good company when it comes to thinking better in the shower (or bath as the case may be). The internets pointed me to the story of Archimedes and The Golden Crown. I'm sure most of you heard this story in one science class or another when you were young because it involves him running through the streets naked shouting "Eureka!".

Now, I'm sure many of you may be saying that his epiphany wasn't due to the profound thought enhancing qualities of the bath but instead it was inspired by the actual properties of water. And you may be right, but how does that explain my sharp rise in creativity whenever I get in the shower? How about you folks, any of you have many more of those eureka moments in the shower than you do elsewhere? Have any keen insights into the cause of this phenomenon?